From influence to choice
As a kid growing up in South Africa I witnessed some pretty harsh and bad treatment of people. I chose not to take part in the hatred and violence committed against others. I also chose not to give in to the discrimination that was often targeted to people from other ethnicities. I was sheltered to a certain extent, and exposed in another, and all of that was a big learning curve for me.
At around the age of 8 years old, I was given the ability due to personal circumstances, to be able to travel on a regular basis to Zimbabwe, to stay on a farm virtually in the middle of nowhere. It was to me an absolute privilege, as being able to walk into what we call the African bush-veld, and experience nature first hand, was something that many other kids of my age in my school back in South Africa could not do.
I did not always understand or appreciate everything around me, but I did get something that many other would never experience. I was given the chance to learn about nature, for real, not out of a text book, and see some pretty amazing sights. It is when you are in the African bush, that you learn things that could never be taught in a class room. On a regular basis I would be able to go find wild animals, at water holes and the river. I was once even chased by a Hippopotamus whilst in a canoe on the Zambezi river. And through all of these experiences I got something that others never would. I learnt from nature, in sometimes extreme situations and conditions.
When I used to go down to a water hole, in search of elusive animals that were very wary of human beings, I was taught a lesson in patience. Sometimes, having to wait nearly 4 hours to see what I was there to observe. I remember very clearly the day I observed a mother wart-hog, with a set of 9 or so babies, come to drink at a broken water pipe leaking water, right at my feet. It took what seemed like ages, for her to get within a meter or so from me, and I sat there patiently waiting, and observing something wonderful and truly special. Without patience, I would never have seen the little wart-hogs drink on their knees, and run around in-between the mothers legs.
This type of experience was a big influence in learning patience, and was totally opposite to many other things I experienced back in South Africa. So why did I chose to learn this skill (and it really and truly is a skill that can be learnt!).
In a society that had little patience for each other, where discrimination was huge, where having the wrong colour skin prevented you from sharing the same beach, where hatred and distrust because of your skin colour or ethnicity was common. In this society I chose to learn this patience, I chose to be different from other kids of my age. I chose not to act like others, I chose to be different, to learn patience and to treat others with respect. I chose! Because I could!
If you think back to your childhood, you can probably name a few people who had a direct impact and influence on your life. If like me you grew up in the 80’s, you could probably name Duran Duran as a band that influenced your musical taste, you either loved them or not. You might have listened to Maddonna, and sung along with some of the songs she brought out.
These, and many others are some of the influences that have shaped and moulded your life, your pathway, your direction. I could very easily have become a racist, and hated people of other colour, and suffered the persecution that some in South Africa have suffered due to their hatred of others.
At the end of the day I chose! I made the choice! My ancestors, grew up in fear of the tribal natives who ruled Southern Africa for many, many years. They feared the natives would steal their cattle and murder them and their families. My dad who fought in the second world war, grew up where just the mere action of shaking hands with someone of a different skin colour could end up in a court martial and result in the end of a distinguished military career. Society, who in part was responsible for the jailing of Nelson Mandela, and also responsible for freeing him and creating the Rainbow nation, would make and break all the rules of old. Even the friends, family and other relationships I had as a child, and the way in which these impacted my life – all of these were influences I know recognise. Not to mention the experience of being a baby in the womb, and how I learnt from conception those things taught to me by my parents, and they way in which I was loved whilst maturing into a baby.
These are only some of the different influences I have had in my life, and I am sure that you would either be able to relate or not some of these, probably not having the same experiences as me, but definitely having experienced influences and expectations from most if not all of these outside sources. These have shaped me into who I am, and I have chosen to react positively or negatively to expectation, influence and choice.
Family ties, is the discovery of these external influences which have impacted me, to influence who we are and what we have become. Family Ties is the seminar to give us a start to making a change if we need it, or want it, so that we can become who we truly were destined to be, without the negative influences that we have experienced or might yet still experience in our lives.
It’s all about the influences we have experienced. Its all about the choices we make. How had your life shaped itself into where it is today?
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